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Ashteron

[Novawrimo] Crossing lives

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I'm not a native English speaker, and I didn't ask anyone to help me with my (unavoidable) english mistakes; I wanted it to be 100% my words, and I took it as some sort of challenge. I don't care at all about winning, only participating :D And I'm already very proud of myself for managing to write 5000 words (that's my new length record!) in a foreign language.

Sorry in advance for any bleeding eyes!

 

It's kind of a philosophical story (well, at least it tries to), more about values and feelings than any real action. It can be somewhat moving or utterly annoying, I have no idea. But these are themes I really wanted to talk about.

I'll try to write something in a different style for the next context, if it has similar rules.

 

 

And now I'm going to sleep, because it's nearly 6 AM where I am and I spent my whole night writing. But I'm the one who won this battle, headache!

 

Edit : I'm adding a (slightly edited) version, with the correct dates, and some minor modifications (less repetitions and a few less english mistakes), it's more understandable that way. Especially the dates, that didn't make any goddamn sense (I didn't re-read them before posting, didn't think I could possibly have them wrong -_-').

I leave the original version too since it's the one that will be taken into account in the contest (sadly) but the new version can bring a little clarity!

Crossing lives.pdf

Crossing lives.compressed.pdf

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Check your numbers, they are confused :P

 

but nonetheless I enjoyed reading it, more private/personal story. Some statements are overly described though and reoccur throughout the story multiple times

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Check your numbers, they are confused :P

 

but nonetheless I enjoyed reading it, more private/personal story. Some statements are overly described though and reoccur throughout the story multiple times

My numbers? I don't get it :(

 

And yeah, sometimes I repeted stuff because I wanted to insist a bit on it/the narrator's mental state, but I guess it becomes a bit too much. I still lack experience in writing, it should become a little better with each story, I least I hope si :D Thanks for for the feedback, I need it to progress!

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My numbers? I don't get it :(

 

And yeah, sometimes I repeted stuff because I wanted to insist a bit on it/the narrator's mental state, but I guess it becomes a bit too much. I still lack experience in writing, it should become a little better with each story, I least I hope si :D Thanks for for the feedback, I need it to progress!

The dates are off (or I don't get it). Sometimes it's 2087 then again it's 2430 and switches back to 2088.

 

Your welcome, one can only improve if you get meaningful critique

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The dates are off (or I don't get it). Sometimes it's 2087 then again it's 2430 and switches back to 2088.

 

Your welcome, one can only improve if you get meaningful critique

 

Oops, I didn't re-read the dates and I guess I'm too used to writing 20xx. It's supposed to be late 2400 then early 2500 for the last one.

 

Edit: okay, I don't understand WHY I put "year 4000" everywhere in the beginning of the diary part. It doesn't make any sense at all and pretty much ruins the effect I wanted v_v'

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