[NovaWrimo2017] Right to Exist

[Stig92]

Short stories are not my strong suit, but here is my story for Novawrimo. In an attempt to contribute to Dual Universe role the story proposes an in universe reason for the design of arkships (as seen in visuals I could find by the end of 2017),  while facing some philosophical-/moral questions. 

 

I'm not native English speaker, but have written quite a bit in English and try to get better at it. Constructive criticism of the language is welcomed as well as of the story.  

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Right to Exist.docx 

Right to Exist.pdf

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edit: unfortunately the forum apparently requires me to have also word doc. attached here to include it in message as required by contests rules and the forum decided to count both files together towards the 500kb limit, even when I tried to have them in separate posts. For this reason I had to remove lot of formating/ separate font I used to highlight some things and make the text more readable, essentially all but raw text, in order to fit both files within the limit. 

[Kurock]

@Stig92 You need to upload the pdf xD

[Stig92]

4 minutes ago, Kurock said:

@Stig92 You need to upload the pdf xD

I did, but then the forum didn't let me upload the doc file that I need to pm, so I had to remove formating/different font, basically everything but raw text so the files combined would fit under the 500kb limit. Stupid limiting system, but I ques it can't be helped. Now both files are up.

[Kurock]

diner -> dinner
quilt -> guilt
specie -> species

 

A fun read and I like the message

[Dwarf3d]

This was a nice one to read. I've thought about the illegal aspect before and you made a great story out of it. Very good dialogue as well. Thanks for posting!

 

Now the question is, is this event something that could have helped convince people to put proto-sentient AI on the arkships? ?

[Stig92]

46 minutes ago, Dwarf3d said:

Now the question is, is this event something that could have helped convince people to put proto-sentient AI on the arkships? ?

I didn't even realize to think of that but yes, that could have a great significance. Also now there is an AI controlled arkship somewhere in the galaxy with nanoforming capabilities. 

[CyberCrunch]

“No, I found her program on old archives and brought her online. She’s done more to

develop the New Hope and its drive systems than I have.”

Best Quote of this story, in my opinion!!

 

Of course those incredible technological breakthroughs would've never be achieved by mere humans, there had to be some sort of AI involved! xD

This would also explain why humans on the Arkships forgot how all the advanced technology works. It was technically not even developed by them in the first place…

 

This story is really great; however it could be even better if you would've let a native speaker proofread the story first. As Kurock said there are a lot of small errors, which are a bit weird to read. The ending seemed also a bit rushed, but I guess you were just forced to publish it in time.^^
It would be great if you could upload the story again in a more polished form. Preferably with your original formatting, using a link to sth. like GoogleDrive, to avoid the 500kb limit. It really deserves to be presented in a proper form.