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Hey all,

 

This is something I've come up with over the last few days. It's a little different, and as you will soon realise the language is tailored towards the perspective of children (or at least, the perspective I want for these children). I just thought I would try out some different techniques.

 

I'll keep this going over the next few weeks I think, until it comes to a good conclusion.

 

Feedback, as always, is most welcome.

 

Hope you enjoy,

 

 

DT

TheYoungOnes.pdf

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"

The story is a good take on a different perspective. It is a common assumption that everyone that steps out of the Novark is either an adolescent, adult or elder. 

 

It's a bold attempt that is very much underrated. Good work with the characters: very believable, but I doubt children would come up with such names! 

 

Not to forget, but if you do write another part, could you show some relation to their parents or guardians in Alioth. They kids do seem very independent, in some cases, unbelievably so!

"

Edited by Aetherios

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"

The story is a good take on a different perspective. It is a common assumption that everyone that steps out of the Novark is either an adolescent, adult or elder.

 

It's a bold attempt that is very much underrated. Good work with the characters: very believable, but I doubt children would come up with such names!

 

Not to forget, but if you do write another part, could you show some relation to their parents or guardians in Alioth. They kids do seem very independent, in some cases, unbelievably so!

"

Thanks for you feedback!

 

In regards to guardians and so on, the story will indeed get into that - and why they are so independent - fairly shortly.

 

Also, with the names, I know they are strange but I basically used them as a heavy-handed approach to creating the individual characters/illustrate some of the themes of the piece. I wanted them to be almost obtusely illustrative of some of the issues about memory loss and so on.

 

Thank you again for reading it, and for writing some thoughts!

 

DT

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good read, enjoyed it.

 

As Aetherios said too, i like the change of perspective. Good thing is: they're just children and no heroes; the latter is always....meh....to me

Thanks Lethys! I thought that the often under-represented children would be interesting too.

 

Glad you enjoyed!

 

DT

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