Devious_T Posted December 29, 2016 Share Posted December 29, 2016 Hey all, This is something I've come up with over the last few days. It's a little different, and as you will soon realise the language is tailored towards the perspective of children (or at least, the perspective I want for these children). I just thought I would try out some different techniques. I'll keep this going over the next few weeks I think, until it comes to a good conclusion. Feedback, as always, is most welcome. Hope you enjoy, DT TheYoungOnes.pdf Lethys 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devious_T Posted January 2, 2017 Author Share Posted January 2, 2017 Does anyone have some comments about the actual piece? Vyz Ejstu 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anaximander Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 This thread is puzzling to say the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vyz Ejstu Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 (edited) " The story is a good take on a different perspective. It is a common assumption that everyone that steps out of the Novark is either an adolescent, adult or elder. It's a bold attempt that is very much underrated. Good work with the characters: very believable, but I doubt children would come up with such names! Not to forget, but if you do write another part, could you show some relation to their parents or guardians in Alioth. They kids do seem very independent, in some cases, unbelievably so! " Edited January 2, 2017 by Aetherios Devious_T 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devious_T Posted January 2, 2017 Author Share Posted January 2, 2017 " The story is a good take on a different perspective. It is a common assumption that everyone that steps out of the Novark is either an adolescent, adult or elder. It's a bold attempt that is very much underrated. Good work with the characters: very believable, but I doubt children would come up with such names! Not to forget, but if you do write another part, could you show some relation to their parents or guardians in Alioth. They kids do seem very independent, in some cases, unbelievably so! " Thanks for you feedback! In regards to guardians and so on, the story will indeed get into that - and why they are so independent - fairly shortly. Also, with the names, I know they are strange but I basically used them as a heavy-handed approach to creating the individual characters/illustrate some of the themes of the piece. I wanted them to be almost obtusely illustrative of some of the issues about memory loss and so on. Thank you again for reading it, and for writing some thoughts! DT Vyz Ejstu 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lethys Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 good read, enjoyed it. As Aetherios said too, i like the change of perspective. Good thing is: they're just children and no heroes; the latter is always....meh....to me Devious_T 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devious_T Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 good read, enjoyed it. As Aetherios said too, i like the change of perspective. Good thing is: they're just children and no heroes; the latter is always....meh....to me Thanks Lethys! I thought that the often under-represented children would be interesting too. Glad you enjoyed! DT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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